Agricultural Inspector Gifts

"Are your chickens raised without the use of growth hormones?"

'The Department of Agriculture was never this strict before.'

"Well Master Jack! We have reason to believe you're growing a GM crop without a licence!"

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Your lobster was off!

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

IRS Audit Section

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

Tax Collector

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

"Well, we can kiss being free-range goodbye."

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

'I know a lot of folks get us confused, but I'm actually taxes!'

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'