Livestock Auctioneer Gifts

'... And we've just had one telephone bid.'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Sick Rancher Humor

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

An early Picasso painting is sold at auction - it is a painting from when Picasso was a child

'I'd recommend against investing in hog futures - what sort of future could a hog have?'

Glasses on, Crazy Cowman's secret identity was safe

"It's called 'Sold'."

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

The Cattle show Week.

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

"I got it from eBay."

Moderne Auction Today - This end up!

'You bought it - you can lie in it!'

Ranch Dressing

The Battle of the Pictures.

Titanic iceberg auction

Matador Artificial Insemination.

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"Oh God, yes! I've been a bad cow! Such a bad, naughty cow! Again! Yes!"

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

'Now, what am I bid for this original Ough?'

Remounts for the Yeomanry

"It's a sad day when we have to sell off National Treasures."

Leonardo da Vinci painting - $450 million record.

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

Shepherd