Livestock Auctioneer Prints

'... And we've just had one telephone bid.'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Sick Rancher Humor

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

'I'd recommend against investing in hog futures - what sort of future could a hog have?'

Glasses on, Crazy Cowman's secret identity was safe

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"It's called 'Sold'."

The Cattle show Week.

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

"I got it from eBay."

Moderne Auction Today - This end up!

Ranch Dressing

Matador Artificial Insemination.

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

Titanic iceberg auction

The Battle of the Pictures.

"Oh God, yes! I've been a bad cow! Such a bad, naughty cow! Again! Yes!"

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

Remounts for the Yeomanry

'Now, what am I bid for this original Ough?'

Shepherd

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'

Leonardo da Vinci painting - $450 million record.

'Pork bellies are up...'