Litter Connoisseur Gifts

'What are you trying to say, Alan?'

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

Biofelineism

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"There, all neat and tidy!"

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Zora Neale Hurston

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

Bob’s Museum

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

'Its that final touch that makes it seem just like a natural pond.'

'Uh-oh, Ben's making his move on Goldie's food again.'

'I agree. You should definitely increase your refresh rate!'

Curtains haberdashery

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

A catch-all is born.

Tee-Hee-Bay - XXXL shoes.

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

"It's only the wind."

YOUR HORSE - Poster style outlining horse parts.

'I leave it this way, because leaving it this way is a labor-saving device.'

"Of course we don't mind you working from home - we'd just rather it was from your own home, Mr Webb."

Mangle

"I'm running a loose ship."

"Tonight... Hemingway."

"Stan is one of our great, widely unread literary treasures."

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"