Feline Connoisseur Gifts

"I told him: Of you want cute, get a kitten. If you want a professional, call me."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Actually, make that a double cream."

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"It get it – you're hungry."

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

'Bloody favouritism I call it.'

Litter Tray Training

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

The practical psychopath

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

Pets.

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

Cats holding letters up that spell out 'Hang in there'.

You're arrogant, aloof and spoiled...but I mean that in the nicest way.

Cat Hecklers

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

Cat Panels. Cats soak up sun on rooftop like solar panels.

Diving Cat.

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"How about a little more muse and a little less 'meow,' huh?"

Funky Facts: Cats

Pet Cemetery.