Kitty Connoisseur Gifts

"Hello, pet shop? About that ginger kitten you sold me six months ago."

'See, it's very good cat food!'

"You opened that bag yesterday. You really expect me to eat leftovers?"

"Would you like finicky or non-finicky?"

Biofelineism

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Imagine

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

'We know you have a cat.'

'Uh-oh, Ben's making his move on Goldie's food again.'

Cat Boss

You naughty kittens, you lost your mittens? Now you shall have a pie.

"It's only the wind."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"You're amazing!"

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

"All right, Thompson. The board concedes that this quarter's economic growth does look very much like a kitty.

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

"It's kittens."

'Coffee? Kitten?'

Up, Up, Up, Up....Down, Down, Down, Down...

"Darling, I can't sleep. I mean, what if the kitten should get it into his head to press that button of his?"

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

'I've never seen a healthier kitten. Cuter, most definitely, but never healthier.'

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

"In case you hadn't noticed, this is a multiple cat home!"

Cat Video Cinema.

Kitten Futures

"I'm working on a watercolor."

101 uses of a dead cat: lectern

'Hmmm, the 27th you say... Yes, I'm away that day, so I guess it's OK for you to play...'

Kate's Cat Kennel