Kitty Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Hello, pet shop? About that ginger kitten you sold me six months ago."

'See, it's very good cat food!'

"You opened that bag yesterday. You really expect me to eat leftovers?"

"Would you like finicky or non-finicky?"

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

Biofelineism

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Imagine

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

'We know you have a cat.'

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

Cat Boss

'Uh-oh, Ben's making his move on Goldie's food again.'

"It's only the wind."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"All right, Thompson. The board concedes that this quarter's economic growth does look very much like a kitty.

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

"You're amazing!"

"It's kittens."

'Coffee? Kitten?'

Up, Up, Up, Up....Down, Down, Down, Down...

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

'I've never seen a healthier kitten. Cuter, most definitely, but never healthier.'

"Darling, I can't sleep. I mean, what if the kitten should get it into his head to press that button of his?"

"In case you hadn't noticed, this is a multiple cat home!"

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

"I'm working on a watercolor."

101 uses of a dead cat: lectern

'Couldn't you, and your ... your naked fur go sit somewhere else?'

Blue wine

'Hmmm, the 27th you say... Yes, I'm away that day, so I guess it's OK for you to play...'

Kate's Cat Kennel

Kitten Futures