Cat Connoisseur Gifts

"Look who's moved in next door."

Smile!

'Couldn't you, and your ... your naked fur go sit somewhere else?'

"To start you folks off tonight, we have a special menu just for turning you nose up at!"

"I wear my elitism lightly."

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

'Uh-oh, Ben's making his move on Goldie's food again.'

101 uses of a dead cat: ashtray.

101 uses of a dead cat: cigarette dispenser

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

'Hmmm, the 27th you say... Yes, I'm away that day, so I guess it's OK for you to play...'

'Dogs are nothing but kiss-ups.'

101 uses of a dead cat: lectern

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

'Dogs are from Mars, cats are from Venus.'

"The Mind Of Whiskers."

Pavlov's Dog. Pavlov's Cat.

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

"You're lucky. Dogs are easy to draw."

"It's only the wind."

Copycats

"Actually, make that a double cream."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Foster failure"

"Cat box"

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

'This might be the common ground we've been looking for.'

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

"Now I really hate poetry."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'