Cat Connoisseur Pillows

"Look who's moved in next door."

Smile!

'Couldn't you, and your ... your naked fur go sit somewhere else?'

"I wear my elitism lightly."

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

'Uh-oh, Ben's making his move on Goldie's food again.'

101 uses of a dead cat: ashtray.

101 uses of a dead cat: cigarette dispenser

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

'Hmmm, the 27th you say... Yes, I'm away that day, so I guess it's OK for you to play...'

'Dogs are nothing but kiss-ups.'

101 uses of a dead cat: lectern

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

'Dogs are from Mars, cats are from Venus.'

"The Mind Of Whiskers."

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

"You're lucky. Dogs are easy to draw."

"It's only the wind."

Copycats

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Foster failure"

"Cat box"

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

'This might be the common ground we've been looking for.'

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Now I really hate poetry."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.