Feline Food Connoisseur Gifts

"Liverwurst?! Okay, let's try it again, speaking slowly this time. 'Fois. . . gras'."

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'I've got it written down...'

'Uh-oh, Ben's making his move on Goldie's food again.'

"MOUSE FLAVORED CAT FOOD"

"I tried dog food once. It tasted like chicken."

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

"Excuse me, but I'm the only one who opens cans around here!"

"It's only the wind."

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

'We'd like something new and improved for dinner.'

Free range cat food - mice running around the store.

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

'Couldn't you, and your ... your naked fur go sit somewhere else?'

'Freshly ground catnip on your salad?'

"It's the first edition of 'How dogs know what their owners are bringing home for dinner'."

101 uses of a dead cat: lectern

"... and just a pinch of catnip for Oscar."

'That's not exactly what I had in mind.'

"Whoa! Just decaf today. I only had 15 hours of sleep yesterday."

'Hmmm, the 27th you say... Yes, I'm away that day, so I guess it's OK for you to play...'

"Meowzers!"

"The Mind Of Whiskers."

"Could we have a doggy bag please?"