Litter Connoisseur Pillows

'What are you trying to say, Alan?'

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

Biofelineism

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

Bob’s Museum

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

'Uh-oh, Ben's making his move on Goldie's food again.'

'Its that final touch that makes it seem just like a natural pond.'

Curtains haberdashery

'I agree. You should definitely increase your refresh rate!'

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

A catch-all is born.

"It's only the wind."

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

YOUR HORSE - Poster style outlining horse parts.

'I leave it this way, because leaving it this way is a labor-saving device.'

Mangle

"I'm running a loose ship."

"Tonight... Hemingway."

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

"Stan is one of our great, widely unread literary treasures."

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"

'That's the material I want for our new lounge curtains.'