Litter-lover Pillows

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

The Missing Sock Returns

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Biofelineism

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

"Drunk, yet orderly"

Clown waits for 'Happy Hour' to begin.

Crab with a clown face.

"This is so fun - I've been wagging my tail so much my cheeks hurt!"

'Your reflexes are still good!'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"My girlfriend really went all out on this one."

Stephen Fry

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'The girls must be feeling better...'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

'I made my own list of My World's 100 Most Powerful Women!'

'Since laughter is the best medicine, I have a joke, Hee, Hee, Haw,Ha!...that could simply wipe out your Infectious Mononucleosis!'

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

'Caw blimey!'

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

That's not what I meant when I suggested you get an exercise machine.

Santa called but you were out!

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"