Literary Learner Gifts

"Constructive criticism? It says I can't write my way out of a paper bag, and you call it constructive criticism."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Thomas Mann.

The DaVinci Code

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

First Novels.

Victor Hugo

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

The Dorrie Decimal System

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Television Readers.

'He likes to power nap.'

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

Jean-Paul Sartre

Voltaire

Blue Stockings

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"Now I really hate poetry."

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."