Literacy Student Gifts

POETRY READING FROM HELL: '1001 Recovering and Healing Haikus.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

The Witches Discover The Wok

"It's a play on words."

"Oh, this old thing?"

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Extreme Sisyphus

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

Alice in Wonderland-Hare and Hatter putting Dormouse in Teapot

Lend me your ears

'What does it say, Dad?'

After the Sentence

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"How do I love thee….? Let me count the ways…" "I'm going to want a recount."

William Shakespeare

Tower Hamlets

Alice in Wonderland - six impossible things before breakfast