Literary Student Gifts

'I'd forgotten how non-textual nature could be.'

"If you quote Rilke again, I'm just going to have to take my bra off!"

Fake Tropes

Marriage in the Nineteenth Century Novel

Where your mind & battle are los

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Computer Room.

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'C'mon get it straight.'

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

Big Bang Theory.

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Eternal Student.

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"Meet The Author"

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

The Bookworm

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Burning the midnight oil.

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

Guitarist