Literacy Teacher Gifts

'Give us a sentence using gruesome.'

"First, we'll need to start with the basics."

A Puppet Named Juan

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"It's a play on words."

"Oh, this old thing?"

The Witches Discover The Wok

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Extreme Sisyphus

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

Lend me your ears

After the Sentence

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'What does it say, Dad?'

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

"Barb's such a fast reader."