Literacy Teacher Gifts

'Give us a sentence using gruesome.'

"First, we'll need to start with the basics."

A Puppet Named Juan

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

The Witches Discover The Wok

"It's a play on words."

"Oh, this old thing?"

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Extreme Sisyphus

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

After the Sentence

Lend me your ears

'What does it say, Dad?'

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

Alice in Wonderland-Hare and Hatter putting Dormouse in Teapot