Literacy Tutor Gifts

'They're words, Billy, assembly required.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

I will study my speling words...

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

Evil Exams!

"Oh, this old thing?"

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

The Witches Discover The Wok

"How was work?"

"It's a play on words."

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Extreme Sisyphus