Language Learner Gifts

'Actually, that means English as a second language...the elephant singles bar is across the street!'

'I'm not impressed, Rupert, by your language skills, or your cultural understanding.'

'My brother is going to stay with a family in France, and a French boy is coming to stay with us. Did you know your parents could exchange you?'

'I'm writing to my penfriend - what's French for 'parents', 'old-fashioned' and 'unreasonable'?'

"According to this poll, when asked if there was sufficient English as a Second Language instruction in their school district, 35 percent of ESL students said 'yes', and 65 percent didn't understand the question."

"I'm sorry... I don't speak Welsh."

'Apparently, there's some sort of language barrier for me when money talks.'

"I'm not expanding my horizons...I just want to be able to read my kids' tattoos."

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Of course you'll study Latin. How else will you learn the names of your dinosaur friends?"

'He's so clever he's learning a second language!'

"I'd call my doctor and ask him but I can't speak his national language."

'If this machine isn't out of whack, reading is gong to be even harder than I expected.'

"I heard that reading to kids strengthens their literary skills and is important for building their brain capacity and mastering the English language."

"They want me to enrol in remedial English while I'm still struggling with English."

'I learned a new word today.'

'I've finally found something in your price range -- How's your Albanian?'

If his Latvian was better I could tell him how to improve that data management programme he's using. His English isn't very good, I wonder if he could cope with a bit of cleaning?

"In today's global economy...maybe you should learn to speak-a-lay la Espanola."

Excess Baggage: If you are handed a menu in a foreign language you might want to ask a few questions before you order.

"Are you sure they'll be able to read English?"

'Thanks to Rosetta Stone, I can ask a hooker if she's a cop in three different languages.'

"How can a student who can't speak English or Gobbledegook expect to pass?"

"Guess I'll have to. It's a cinch I can't say it with words."

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"Actually, we wuz both takin' English classes down at the rec center!"

"I never realized we'd have to speak TIBETAN to him!"

"I tried a traditional Chinese herbal remedy for writer's block and it worked great. I wrote four new chapters in two days. Unfortunately, it was all in Chinese and I can't read Chinese."

"Baldo, it's not only about looks. I'll bet Rayna is really, really smart."

Coronavirus Self-isolation Children's Activities.

"Maybe getting Carmen to give them Spanish lessons was a bad idea."

"Nothing teaches a businessman Spanish faster...than a Latino with a dollar bill."

OK, I admit it...I don't know Spanish! Help me out! What should I tell my boss?"

"Wow! How'd you get an A+ on your overnight Spanish quiz?"

"Baldo, I got these language tapes to help you learn Spanish."