Legal Language Learner Gifts

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

'Stick them up...'

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"We make crime pay."

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

"What's another word for 'thesaurus'?"

"Bet she says 'moo' before she says 'oink'."

Populating URBAN DICTIONARY.

Words that can result in employee litigation box.

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee