Lions Gifts

A lion walks into a Colosseum arena where a dish of food is waiting.

'I like zebras. They have great taste, and wonderful personalities too.'

A Shipping Lion.

'I know, I know, you told me not to buy a convertible!'

Bring back the cat.

"You have no idea how embarrassing it is to be a bald lion. This morning a cub mistook me for his mother."

"I prefer people to animals."

Thug life on safari.

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Forget cholesterol. We eat meat, and that's that."

"This is not what I meant when I said you needed to practice your play fighting..."

"It's a recurring nightmare: here I am, readying myself for a mighty roar and this librarian is staring at me..."

Sign in Lion Enclosure: 'Please Don't Eat the People.'

Next in Lion

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

Frontispiece to the Artists' Catalogue.

"Man, what I wouldn't do for one of those free-range meals right now."

Lion Costume

Man putting his head in a lion's mouth

"The animal kingdom is truly wondrous -- and everything's edible!"

Always a popular motive: Hunter and Prey.

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

Will Kill For Food

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

'Where's all those lions we were told are out here?'

"Ok, I have my hearing aids on now: let's hear this mighty roar of yours. . ."

'Where did we go wrong?'

'Oh my, have you seen the size of the new tamer's head? I can't fit that in my mouth...'

Draw the Lion

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

'Mum, she pulled my mane!'

Reality Bites

"I tried that new detangling shampoo."