Detroit Lions Gifts

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

Thug life on safari.

"Goal!"

"This is not what I meant when I said you needed to practice your play fighting..."

Next in Lion

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'I like zebras. They have great taste, and wonderful personalities too.'

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

"Then I wake up, the cheering has stopped, I have three kids, and I work in a cubicle."

Will Kill For Food

Lion Costume

Man putting his head in a lion's mouth

"Ok, I have my hearing aids on now: let's hear this mighty roar of yours. . ."

'Oh my, have you seen the size of the new tamer's head? I can't fit that in my mouth...'

A revised statuary for the city of tomorrow

"...if you don't come on out of there, I'll call the RSPCA."

Draw the Lion

'Mum, she pulled my mane!'

"I give up. What's black and white and red all over?"

"Please stand and join us in half-assing your way through our national anthem."

'Leonard was pleased with his bouffant mane from The Precious Roar.'

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

"It's a recurring nightmare: here I am, readying myself for a mighty roar and this librarian is staring at me..."

'It has to have tall fences.'

"No way I'm going to curtsy! This "King of the Jungle" business has really gone to your head, hasn't it?!"

Bring back the cat.

'Sorry Alf...the telly is bust.'

"Reggie is retired, but he still goes to work to play the office sports pool."

"What's the big deal with posting food pics on social networks?"

"Forget cholesterol. We eat meat, and that's that."