Lions Tour Aficionado Gifts

Marcus Smith

Thug life on safari.

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

Welcome Ghost.

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

Lion Costume

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

"Ok, I have my hearing aids on now: let's hear this mighty roar of yours. . ."

Draw the Lion

A revised statuary for the city of tomorrow

'It's your father. He says he's joining Bob Dylan's never ending tour.'

'Mum, she pulled my mane!'

"And this is where we add the natural goodness."

"It's a recurring nightmare: here I am, readying myself for a mighty roar and this librarian is staring at me..."

'It has to have tall fences.'

"And this is our extended family room."

Tour de Lance Over. Next year the To de France returns!

'The spirit of bipartisan cooperation is back - if you vote against my bill, I'll vote against your bill.'

Lawrence Dallaglio

"I call it 'Organised Cabinet Number One'."

Hop on Hip-Hop Off Bus

"You're the only one in here who had to ask for a knife and fork."

'They think it's Andover - it is Slough!'

"Would you like me to show you around my apartment and tell you how much I paid for everything?"

'Oh, yes, Larry, we all know who's the Alpha male around here!'

Unfortunately, the dominant lion was also a very picky eater.

'Forget it - that is one fast zebra!'

Tour

A lion walks into a Colosseum arena where a dish of food is waiting.

"Before you sit down, let me give you the grand tour."

"Wear the leopard-print underwear."

"Anybody got a pen that works?"