Lion Enthusiast Gifts

"Wear the leopard-print underwear."

'It has to have tall fences.'

'Oh, yes, Larry, we all know who's the Alpha male around here!'

"I'm still hungry."

Unfortunately, the dominant lion was also a very picky eater.

"Ok, I have my hearing aids on now: let's hear this mighty roar of yours. . ."

A revised statuary for the city of tomorrow

"How do you think I feel when you say those years in the jungle were the happiest time of your life."

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

'Mum, she pulled my mane!'

Peter De Villiers.

Draw the Lion

"I don't prey on the old, sick, or lame, I prey on the healthy who park in the handicapped spots."

"It's a recurring nightmare: here I am, readying myself for a mighty roar and this librarian is staring at me..."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

Sign in Lion Enclosure: 'Please Don't Eat the People.'

"This is not what I meant when I said you needed to practice your play fighting..."

Thug life on safari.

Next in Lion

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

"Works every time."

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

'I like zebras. They have great taste, and wonderful personalities too.'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

Frontispiece to the Artists' Catalogue.

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"This is the best part of the movie."

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

'So much for the 'Eye of the Tiger'.'

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."