Linguistic Pranksters Gifts

The adorably cute Labradoor (A dog in the shape of a door)

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

ABC Diapers. Comfy Tushy Diapers. Now 3 times more absorbent! Note to self: Drink 4 times more juice.

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

'I'll try to keep my remarks brief.'

Tartar sauce.

"Not that it's right, but I understand. I was young once and used to sneak out to do crop circle, too."

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

'I'm sorry, Mr. President, he can't come to the phone right now...he's doing that crazy hand jive.'

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

Monkey dropping apples on Newton's head.

Back to the Holidays

A clown is walking a balloon dog. He is pretending it is weeing on a fire hydrant.

Time Table

Wordplay: Mandate - Escort Agency.

"I think we both know who did it...."

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

Unbeknown to others, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

Book signing The Art Of Forgery - "Gee thanks, Oprah Winfrey."

Revenge Of The Tipped Cows

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

Frank, how is "rhetorical" spelled? Hey, that's a non-rhetorical question!

After exhaustive auditions, Rudy Park hires a new writer. You should've seen the brawl that broke out between Rowling, Twain and Watterson. They all really wanted the gig … until they heard what it pays. So who'd we hire? Darrin Bell. The guy who draws us. That clown? Shhh!! What? I'm not afraid of him. To be continued …