Lighthearted Gambler Pillows

"Do all your casinos have these?"

PSA Banter.

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

Mary's Botox injections paid for themselves in no time.

'...here are this week's lucky fur balls.'

'The cat does like having something to scratch.'

'Hang on a minute, Mother...why does your care plan include me 'popping to the bookies' for you?'

'My office is boarded up. Why do I get the feeling my boss is still made at me for beating him at poker over the weekend.'

No, I'm not a gambler at all. I just blow on these and they keep serving me drinks.

Inventing the roulette wheel.

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

'Is that a roll of pound coins?'

'-and make sure you back one to lose THAT shirt on!'

How to win the Lottery. - Scratch 'n' read edition.

When government depends on state lottery: Playing the lottery is lots of fun and a great investment plan!

Slug roulette.

"I bet you $10 the next insect we catch is caught in Sector 5..."

"Psst ... it's your bookie."

Vending machines at work: Snacks, Coffee, Glimmer of Hope