Optimistic Gambler Pillows

"And it turned out that the e-mail I binned really was from a Nigerian oil millionaire wanting to give me ?200 million."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

Dog in casino.

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

'Will you make the final table?'

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

STRIP Hambone: Betting on horse racing with the company payroll

"Enough medical mumbo jumbo, just give it to me straight, Doc-will I ever be able to play piano again?"

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

"Room for bigger presents!"

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

Mary's Botox injections paid for themselves in no time.

'...here are this week's lucky fur balls.'

'I thought she'd never leave.'

Inventing the roulette wheel.

'Hang on a minute, Mother...why does your care plan include me 'popping to the bookies' for you?'

'My office is boarded up. Why do I get the feeling my boss is still made at me for beating him at poker over the weekend.'

'-and make sure you back one to lose THAT shirt on!'

'So Bob says to me, he says, 'steroid are the only way I can compete at the pro level'. I didn't have the nerve to tell him it has no effect in poker.'

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

Instant winner trash can

Slug roulette.

When government depends on state lottery: Playing the lottery is lots of fun and a great investment plan!

"I bet you $10 the next insect we catch is caught in Sector 5..."

"Psst ... it's your bookie."

Welcome to Las Vegas - a faith-based community.