Optimistic Gambler T-Shirts

"And it turned out that the e-mail I binned really was from a Nigerian oil millionaire wanting to give me ?200 million."

'I used to be really depressed about losing the superlotto, but then I found this support group, and I realized I'm not the only person who hasn't won.'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

Dog in casino.

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

Casino. Keno. $$$. Win. Cashier. He sure wins a lot! He's "Keno Savvy."

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

STRIP Hambone: Betting on horse racing with the company payroll

'Will you make the final table?'

"Enough medical mumbo jumbo, just give it to me straight, Doc-will I ever be able to play piano again?"

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

"Room for bigger presents!"

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

Mary's Botox injections paid for themselves in no time.

'...here are this week's lucky fur balls.'

'I thought she'd never leave.'

Inventing the roulette wheel.

'My office is boarded up. Why do I get the feeling my boss is still made at me for beating him at poker over the weekend.'

'Hang on a minute, Mother...why does your care plan include me 'popping to the bookies' for you?'

'-and make sure you back one to lose THAT shirt on!'

"Ask your doctor if you're strong enough to day trade options."

When government depends on state lottery: Playing the lottery is lots of fun and a great investment plan!

Instant winner trash can

'So Bob says to me, he says, 'steroid are the only way I can compete at the pro level'. I didn't have the nerve to tell him it has no effect in poker.'

Slug roulette.

Welcome to Las Vegas - a faith-based community.