Playful Gambler Pillows

A child pulls the lever of a machine that is combination of both a slot machine and a gumball machine.

Cabby and facetious fare

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

'No, I DON'T want to make a side bet on the spelling test!'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

Silly sausages

'Will you make the final table?'

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

Tug the Toggle

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

Mary's Botox injections paid for themselves in no time.

No, I'm not a gambler at all. I just blow on these and they keep serving me drinks.

"Ask your doctor if you're strong enough to day trade options."

You stink at Halo 5. I have no thumbs!

How to win the Lottery. - Scratch 'n' read edition.

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

Vending machines at work: Snacks, Coffee, Glimmer of Hope

'Look at the bright side, it's better to have loved money and lost than never to have invested at all.'

'I actually make a lot more money as a bookmaker than I ever did as a race horse...'

'I used to be really depressed about losing the superlotto, but then I found this support group, and I realized I'm not the only person who hasn't won.'

'One...two....threee! Paper covers rock again! Well, I win another fifty bucks.'

'I know it's a long shot but wouldn't it be worth hanging on until after the wednesday lottery draw?'

'I know we lost 5-0. I'm happy because I bet £100 on the other side to win!'

'Well, that's 3 of my 7-a-day.'

"How long have you been wasting our money on lottery tickets?"

'Psst. I got a powerful feeling Jimbo has a full house.'

"I thought you said risk taking was okay?" 'Not putting the pension fund on Lucky Lady to win."