Playful Bettor Pillows

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

Post Game Day Betting.

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

At The Clown Bank.

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

'My dad showed me how to make awesome paper airplanes out of corporate bonds.'

"Let's face it, you could back the wrong horse in a one-horse race!"

'He made a lot of money investing in what he knew - dog biscuit and rawhide bone futures.'

"Well, you shouted come on the five dog!"

'I actually make a lot more money as a bookmaker than I ever did as a race horse...'

"on the contrary, the fund's performance has been quite good when viewed in dog's years."

'I used to be really depressed about losing the superlotto, but then I found this support group, and I realized I'm not the only person who hasn't won.'

'I know we lost 5-0. I'm happy because I bet £100 on the other side to win!'

'We may have done better if the jockey had carried the horse round!'

A child pulls the lever of a machine that is combination of both a slot machine and a gumball machine.

Geder Reveal Party

'No, I DON'T want to make a side bet on the spelling test!'

"I gotta pack of M&Ms on the orange mare."

"Want to trade banks with me?"

"What really hurts is losing my bet on which of us would go first."

Cabby and facetious fare

'Fiver on the rabbit, please.'

"And it turned out that the e-mail I binned really was from a Nigerian oil millionaire wanting to give me ?200 million."

'You're very cute but your account is overdrawn - Ok, what the heck...?

Paramutual friends.

'You seem certain he'll win the second race. Yes, because he's in the first race.'