Casual Gambler Pillows

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

I know I'll never win at the game of life, but you'd think just once I could beat the point spread!

'I know we lost 5-0. I'm happy because I bet £100 on the other side to win!'

'What did you say this game is called?'

How to win the Lottery. - Scratch 'n' read edition.

'The Football pools aren't fun anymore - the computer wins everytime.'

No, I'm not a gambler at all. I just blow on these and they keep serving me drinks.

'One...two....threee! Paper covers rock again! Well, I win another fifty bucks.'

'Look! You can't have a good time losing only 20p!'

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

Knights of the bedside table.

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

"Hey, Stretch. Mind if we play through?"

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

"Before we start, does anyone fancy a bet on the outcome?"

Shhh – I'm taking a virtual nap.

Delusional Golfer's Optical Illusion

'Maybe we could hold the wedding on 'Casual Friday'.'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

...I told you never to enter without knocking

Caddy With A Cool Box

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.