Light-hearted Jokers Gifts

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

'It was a gift from AARP.'

Lightning Bug Bullies

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

Daffodil bulbs

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

Face Mask Romance

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

'I'm sorry, Mr. President, he can't come to the phone right now...he's doing that crazy hand jive.'

Kid in hospital has I.V. in him that is a straw.

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

Surreal Ale Pub.

'Vacuums!'

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

Dorothy gets a visit from her funny Valentine.

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep and with the sun if I've found death, please excuse my morning breath.

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

"It's me, Lucky—you can drop the best-friend shtick."

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

'This is the third time you've gone to the bathroom tonight. Are you seeing another woman in there?'

"His legs yurn to jello when he wears Relaxed Fit jeans."

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

"Your Covid-19 Test Results Are In..."

'But seriously, folks... Who knows how many blondes it takes to screw in my latest invention?'

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

'At least you still think I'm great, don't you, boy?'