Lighthearted Jokesters Gifts

You show me yours and I'll show you mine.

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

Men dancing

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

"Your Covid-19 Test Results Are In..."

'But seriously, folks... Who knows how many blondes it takes to screw in my latest invention?'

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

The little rascal! He knows we're watching him and that he's safe next to his warren, so he's mooning us!

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

"It was worth a try."

'Hello? Animal control?'

'We're having the whole place done over in pistachio!'

"Doctor I think I'm a moth..."

"Come on, what would be the point of being a pilot fish if I couldn't wear cool pilot sunglasses?"

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

Sticker: 'How's my driving you nuts?'

"It's heartbreaking. He blew out his arm training for the season's big modern art exhibit, and he hasn't been able to get anything in the strike zone since then!"

A Please Wipe Your Feet mat with words mixed up at the Dyslexic clinic.

I laughed so hard that milk came out my nose.

"Damn kids and their graffiti."