Light-hearted Gift Seeker Pillows

'It's time you booked yourself into rehab!'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

Easter Island Cheeseheads

Ball as water-melon.

A watch face with Stonehenge

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

Where Deviled Eggs come from

Customer entering bank that is touting number of toasters given away

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"Roadkill cookies"

A baby using a heavy duty drill

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

Santa's Helpers

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

"Pass that."

International House of Excrement

Regifts of the Magi

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

'If you're out and about today don't forget the pith helmet.'

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

Fish mobsters.

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

"What seems to be the problem?"

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

"I'll fill it with Play Doh and no one will ever know the difference."

'...You're just not built to take selfies.'

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'