Light-hearted Christmas Gift Pillows

"I don't care how traditional it is. On this ship, it's women and children first!"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Daughters on the beach

Elfie Stick

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Get crazy once in a while

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

Loopholes

Mouse returns home from work.

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

"Ticket and passport, please."

'Hang on a minute...'

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

Scrooge is visited by the ghost of prehistoric past.

Snake Charming

"Goodnight Tommy, sleeptight, watch the millenium bugs don't bite."

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

Santa's doner kebab - Santa, one of the reindeer has gone missing.

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

S. S. All You Can Eat

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

Cannibal recipes.

Chicken Road Crossing

Elf of the Month

"It's kind of hard to know where these photos were taken: The backgrounds are very similar..."

Working one day a year doesn't pay the bills

"You can already make reservations and travel as soon as climate change has caused sea levels to rise!"

'This one has been banned in Benidorm.'

Gluten-free Santa

'Looks like big oil bought out Santa.'