Christmas Gifting Pillows

Christmas stockings hanging from fireplace. Sign above reads 'Now Accepting Paypal'.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Christmas Tree

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"That'll be five bucks."

Daughters on the beach

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

Say it with flowers

'They're dog roses!'

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

"Gift"

Christmas Presents.

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

"I might just get a pie."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."