Christmas Gifting Gifts

Christmas stockings hanging from fireplace. Sign above reads 'Now Accepting Paypal'.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Christmas Tree

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"That'll be five bucks."

Daughters on the beach

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

'I told you to invite a friend over.'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

'They're dog roses!'

Say it with flowers

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

"Gift"

Christmas Presents.

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'