Christmas Gifter Pillows

'All I want for Christmas is a nice big roll of tape to wrap around my mouth.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Christmas Tree

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

Daughters on the beach

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"That'll be five bucks."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

'I told you to invite a friend over.'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

Say it with flowers

'They're dog roses!'

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

The wife whisperer.

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

"Gift"

'It must be good chocolate for six bucks a box.'

Christmas Presents.

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'