Light Bulb Punster Gifts

Mitch learns he is not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

'Iguana know what time it is.'

K9 Literati

'Out, damned Spot.'

Pet Cemetery.

Dog Walker

Note Book

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

Supermarket Warehouse. At night, with just security here, the products sing classic karaoke. The orange juice is belting Elvis'"All Shook Up." Peanut butter and jelly performed a duet of "Love Will Keep Us Together." children's breakfast cereal sang "Sugar, Sugar." And sriracha sauce did a rendition of "Great Balls of Fire"! What song will the ground beef choose? Jimmy Buffett's "Cheeseburger in Paradise," of course!

2B or not 2B

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

Optometrist Humor

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

Licker Store

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

Various Birds of Pray.

Fleas Navidad.

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

Lit. Exam. I carefully read "Ulysses," "Dubliners" and "Finnegans Wake," but I was kicked out by the teacher for calling the exam a "multiple-Joyce" test.

'Nice try, Billy, but dogma is not a puppy's mother!'

Optometrist practical jokes

"No, sir, this isn't Positano. It's the Jersey Shore."

"My eyes feel heavy. Does that mean I'm taking in too much eye candy?"

'That's Princess... formerly 'Prince'.'

'Play dead.'

'Blasphemous? Christ no!'