Life Insurance Policy Ponderer Pillows

'What do you mean, where did I put my life insurance policy? I'm only here for an in-growing toe nail.'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

G7 Summit Concern

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

Roe v. Wade

Do Guns Kill?

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"But what if this is all there is?"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

Sybil Obama

"Massive deficit spending, enormous Federal bailouts, open borders, ridiculous earmarks, pork for everybody, intervention all over the world.... Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

Violent Crime Statistics

"Your insurance just called. They don't cover 'having a bad day.'"

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

News and Magazines. Tax Bill Debate. The trickle-down can never compete with siphon-up.

We Used to Build Things

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

The two faces of capitalism.

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

125% tariff in escalating trade war.... ...Mitch realizes that everything he ordered is made in China

"Those eco-terrorists are going to cost us a FORTUNE!!"

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'For the economy to improve we're counting on a 'trickle down' from the super-wealthy to the wealthy.'