Insurance Policy Ponderer Pillows

'Is this gonna raise my premium?'

'I'm getting flooded with spam.'

'This Obamacare website is so frustrating! I'm used to insurance companies rejecting us immediately.'

"His blood work doesn’t look half as bad as his HMO."

'Instead of hunting tonight, lets call our insurance agent, say we want to add dental coverage, and eat him when he arrives?'

...I just rang to see how your retirement is coming along and to sell you our senior citizens' cover plan

'I'm sorry, your insurance doesn't cover pre-existing conditions or post-existing conditions.'

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

'I'd climb down if I were you -- the King just canceled your insurance.'

"Your insurance just called. They don't cover 'having a bad day.'"

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

G7 Summit Concern

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

Roe v. Wade

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Massive deficit spending, enormous Federal bailouts, open borders, ridiculous earmarks, pork for everybody, intervention all over the world.... Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

Do Guns Kill?

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'At least I don't have his life.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

Violent Crime Statistics

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

The two faces of capitalism.

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

"Those eco-terrorists are going to cost us a FORTUNE!!"

'I say we try it.'