Policy Ponderer Pillows

"Is nuclear power the frying pan or the fire?"

"Uh-oh, your coverage doesn't seem to include illness."

'Susan, hold all calls for the next six hours. I'm trying to comprehend the Affordable Care Act.'

"It's a 300 page government questionaire about cutting back on bureaucracy."

'The object is to make money, not pay claims! Don't make me tell you again!'

"We need an end to short-termism, at least until next week"

'We've changed our mind. We don't care any more!'

'An ounce of prevention was worth a pound of cure, but that was before Medicare.'

'I'd like to buy insurance to stop my insurance rates from going up.'

'Sorry ma'am, but a rule is a rule.'

'This policy has one exclusion - no payoff if civilization is destroyed by terrorism. However, in that event, all your premiums would be refunded.'

'I read that 15% of us can't afford health insurance.'

"The Benefits Agency is always willing to be flexible...but only under certain limited clearly defined circumstances."

"It's a 300 page government questionnaire about cutting back on bureaucracy."

"This is our needs assessment, and you'll notice on the back that I've also attached our wants assessment."

Immigration - 'You haven't got enough points to re-enter the UK.'

"And, for what we don't cover, there's insurance insurance."

'I'm more unpopular now than I was at school.'

"It's our new policy ,if the children don't turn up then the parent's have to!"

A man and a woman sit on a seesaw looking at a graph.

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

'My decision is maybe and that's final.'

"The government realises that there has been some confusion about retirement ages..."

The benefits agency is always willing to be flexible,but only under certain limited, clearly defined circumstances.

"Nice and simple. The way a family leave policy should be."

'Hey, get out of my space!'

'Mr. Johnson we have you surrounded. We know you only skimmed the 55 pages of the new itunes terms and services before you clicked 'agree'!'

"Do me a favor, Harlow. When you greet me, stop saying 'Hello, big spender!'"

"The benefits agency is always willing to be flexible...but only under certain limited clearly defined circumstances."

'Sorry, no refunds. Didn't you read our fine print in Sanskrit about our return policy?'

Reception - "I'm afraid you'll have to wait twenty minutes, sir - it's company policy."

"No, the economy isn't growing slowly. It's growing mindfully."

'A flower bed isn't enough --You have to own a farm before we can pay you for not growing things.'

"Government requires that we lower the bar."

'I suggest you take this policy. It even covers floods.'