Life Insurance Policy Ponderer Gifts

'What do you mean, where did I put my life insurance policy? I'm only here for an in-growing toe nail.'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

G7 Summit Concern

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

Roe v. Wade

Do Guns Kill?

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"But what if this is all there is?"

"Massive deficit spending, enormous Federal bailouts, open borders, ridiculous earmarks, pork for everybody, intervention all over the world.... Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

Violent Crime Statistics

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

"Your insurance just called. They don't cover 'having a bad day.'"

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

The two faces of capitalism.

125% tariff in escalating trade war.... ...Mitch realizes that everything he ordered is made in China

'For the economy to improve we're counting on a 'trickle down' from the super-wealthy to the wealthy.'

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

"Those eco-terrorists are going to cost us a FORTUNE!!"