Insurance Ponderer Gifts

'I'm just a struggling actor. Your insurance policy doesn't cover a real doctor.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

"Your insurance just called. They don't cover 'having a bad day.'"

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

Retirement Issues

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"How the hell should I know what I'm looking at? You're lousy insurance doesn't provide HD X-rays."

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

'Jerry, The Hermans take the same pharmaceuticals we do!'

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

'You have to admire the way Hartley overcame his honesty and integrity to get to the top.'

"I'll have to cance your appointment for next Friday. I'm going to be sick in bed with the flu."

'I proved that when you start to count your blessings, you find that they're infinite.'

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

"Hey, way to go! You invented both the disease AND the cure!"

'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'