Life Guide Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I'm not looking for absolute wisdom. . . just enough to get by."

Reach for the Star.

"Feel free to take notes."

'There's nothing on.'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

"My husband's the academic. I just like to travel. I'm more of a pandemic."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

What it takes to be a leader.

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

Life is about the chase, not the ball. Now go get it!

"Well, it's funny, Sid. Every time I've got onr foot in the grave, something interesting happens, so I pull it back out again!"

'No thanks. I'm just looking...'

"Well I think we can safely rule out the idea of seeing-eye lemmings."

Public Meetings: 'If you check the guide it's clear that you only need to say 'chair'.'

"Why do I always get stuck with being the guardian angel to someone who can't seem to finish his Ph.D.?"

'Rock of Ages'

A blind Scuba-diver being lead by his Guide/Seeing Eye Fish

"I lost 5 pounds and you didn't even notice!"

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Great --- Starting from scratch again.

"Could you all please just listen to my sermon instead of asking me what I would do?"

A doctor in her kitchen agonizes over the ethics of pulling the plug on her ailing toaster.

'Not getting into university is not going to stop me doing the things I hoped to do...'

We only go around once, but it can be quite the loop-de-loop!

'I'm what you can't learn at Harvard Business school.'

Opportunity to pursue other options, next exit.

Blindman's blind guide dog with its own guide animal

'On second thoughts I'm sure you'd make an excellent store detective, Mr Hodgson.'

I imagine at your age, you attend a lot of funerals, Sadie. Oh, yes, they're quite lovely. As a child, I attended birthday parties. As a lass, I attended sweet sixteens. As a young adult, I attended weddings. As a mature woman, I attended retirement parties. Now, in the twilight of life, I attend funerals. "Deathday" parties, if you will. And it's beautiful. Because it's all come full circle? Because for once, I don't have to buy the %$&*@ a gift.

Things-could-be-worse-go-round

"You're mad at your parents? Why?"