Life Guide Enthusiast Gifts

"I'm not looking for absolute wisdom. . . just enough to get by."

Reach for the Star.

"Feel free to take notes."

'There's nothing on.'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

"My husband's the academic. I just like to travel. I'm more of a pandemic."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

What it takes to be a leader.

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

"Well, it's funny, Sid. Every time I've got onr foot in the grave, something interesting happens, so I pull it back out again!"

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

'No thanks. I'm just looking...'

"Why do I always get stuck with being the guardian angel to someone who can't seem to finish his Ph.D.?"

Public Meetings: 'If you check the guide it's clear that you only need to say 'chair'.'

"Well I think we can safely rule out the idea of seeing-eye lemmings."

A blind Scuba-diver being lead by his Guide/Seeing Eye Fish

"I lost 5 pounds and you didn't even notice!"

'Not getting into university is not going to stop me doing the things I hoped to do...'

"Could you all please just listen to my sermon instead of asking me what I would do?"

'I'm what you can't learn at Harvard Business school.'

A doctor in her kitchen agonizes over the ethics of pulling the plug on her ailing toaster.

Opportunity to pursue other options, next exit.

Blindman's blind guide dog with its own guide animal

'On second thoughts I'm sure you'd make an excellent store detective, Mr Hodgson.'

"Have no fear, Baldo...the Cruzer is now your personal love coach."

"You're mad at your parents? Why?"

Things-could-be-worse-go-round

'Sorry - I was just for Christmas.'