Library Week Gifts

"Before the library cuts I was well-read now I just have ill-informed opinions."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

Big Bang Theory.

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

"Meet the scribe"

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Do your research!

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Paranormal A-Z...

Woman blowing dust off book 'Desert Romance'

Gen-Next Library

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

'And the cat is due back in 2 weeks.'

Another Bigfoot sighting...

"Author does not do tricks."

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

'Bring out yer books!'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

Myths and legends...

The Lessons of VietnamThe Lessons of Iran and ContraThe Lessons of Iraq.

Two Generations of Readers

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."