Library Opening Gifts

Grand Opening

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

"Meet the scribe"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Paranormal A-Z...

Gen-Next Library

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

'And the cat is due back in 2 weeks.'

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

"Author does not do tricks."

Another Bigfoot sighting...

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

Myths and legends...

The Lessons of VietnamThe Lessons of Iran and ContraThe Lessons of Iraq.

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

'Have you got the book 'After the end of the world'?'

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'I know it's overdue but I've been in Intensive Care.'