Opening A Library Gifts

Library Waiting to Happen

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

"Meet the scribe"

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Paranormal A-Z...

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Gen-Next Library

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

"Author does not do tricks."

Important Food Groups

Another Bigfoot sighting...

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

The Lessons of VietnamThe Lessons of Iran and ContraThe Lessons of Iraq.

Myths and legends...

Things I've learned...

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

Kid to boy in library: 'Oh, we came at the busiest part of the day ... it's a reading frenzy.'

'I know it's overdue but I've been in Intensive Care.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

'Have you got the book 'After the end of the world'?'

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

"Check out this new store."