Library Visit Gifts

"Think about the perks. You learn to read, you get a pre-approved library card!"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Big Bang Theory.

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

"Meet the scribe"

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Do your research!

Woman blowing dust off book 'Desert Romance'

Gen-Next Library

Paranormal A-Z...

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

'And the cat is due back in 2 weeks.'

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

'Bring out yer books!'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

"Author does not do tricks."

Another Bigfoot sighting...

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

The Lessons of VietnamThe Lessons of Iran and ContraThe Lessons of Iraq.

Two Generations of Readers

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

Myths and legends...