Librarian Chuckler Gifts

'If it weren't so quiet in here, you couldn't hear the noise I'm making.'

Do it yourself books.

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

Building Books.

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

Two books from the crime passionel section in a library having sex

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

'We take late returns very seriously at this library Mr Wilson!'

"Personally, there's nothing I like better than to curl up in bed with a bad woman."

'I'm good with sheep. . .'

I brought two #1 pencils.

Hard to reach books.

Library - Food For Thought.

Real Life Bookshop.

Librarian of Congress

Construction workers building a library are all saying, 'shhh, shhh' to each other.

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

Hard to Reach Books.

'Sorry I'm overdue but I've been in hospital!'

'I don't want to ruin it for you, but the ending is pretty obvious.'

'I don't want to read 'Great Books'. Too much pressure.'

The nations most brought but unread books.

Shooter uses silencer for gunfight in library.

A Book Review of the Phone Book: A hefty paperback with too many characters and not enough plot development. Next week, we'll review a more complex work--your phone bill.

Woman throws a book titled 'How To Get Along With Others' at a passer-by.

"Some say the world will end in noodles, some say in rice."

'I need a statement that I've been here for the past 15 minutes and read David Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding.'

Powerful bookends.

We've never really had use for a Fashion section

Shoplifter helps himself to a book from the self-help books section.

That bestseller you let me 'borrow'

'What's the point of shelving books, they just check them out again anyway!'